Why I feel enlightened...

Why do I feel I am special and know more about life then normal people? Because though I have not seen most of the Washington's white stone palace's secrets. However, I seen enough to know that on some issues the public are not aware of what is going on over their heads. What they don't realize us that deeper then party ties there is a bond inside the government to stand united. When it is a foreign war we are not so quick to respond and if its on our land we boa up and beat our fists. And just so you wouldn't want all your secrets to be known to all. It would dissatisfy some, enrage others, over power some, destroy others because of this those secrets are kept by some, the ones with a need to know. For most life is comfortable and happy. But for others it's not. They don't want you to know everything because then you wouldn't stay happy living on a dime and working so much. Sometimes life sucks knowing you know something and you can't tell anyone. Which is why I enjoy drill. For once I can you sit an talk to other people that know just as much of the world going on around us as I do. Do I know a lot of crazy secrets? No I don't. There is so much more I don't know. But what I get to see isn't censored and its looked at more i depth and analyzed. My eyes open to the whole world. Not just the ground beneath my feet. My sources are not vetted by news media interests. I read the raw stuff. It's not sugar coated or vague. It's truth. What the public gets is sugar coated lies or half truths. They may not be huge secrets but they are enough to make you become enlightened.

Maying I should do intel

I had a thought the other day. I love being intel. I love my job of knowing, thinking, analyzing, and portraying that to our nations troops and commanders. I am the extra security for our country. I handle the secrets. I almost want to be an intelligence analyst. I wonder if maybe instead of being a physical therapist perhaps I should just try to be an intelligence analyst. I would what degree that would be?

No friends

I know what my problem is of why I have no friends. It just dawned on me. I have always had very few close girl friends. Most of my friends have been boys. Since I became married all my male friends I had became his friends. I haven't made any new ones lately. I just don't connect with the girls and the boys I steer clear of entirely. It's so hard to find a good female friend that I can connect with. And I'm not comfortable having a male friend. I'm just scared that the friendship/affair line is to easy crossed and I don't want to chance it. Because for me befriending someone means that I love something about them and they give something back to me. Friendship based on admiration can lead to attraction. Foolish attraction though only meant to satisfy you urges for a short moment.  

Don't be ashamed not to know why you are here

The wind doesn't even know where it's going or why it's here. How would you expect someone like me to know this? To know why I am here. No one here knows the answers. Maybe there isn't an answer. Maybe we are the question and it is up to us to create the answer. Lets take this one step at a time.

Did you ever notice?

Did you ever notice that as you get older your parents start becoming real to you. They start to actually open up as people and friends rather then just people you knew by design. Blood doesn't make you stronger, love does. 

Top Secret Classified: The Secret to World Peace

Sometimes I get this feeling were I have nothing better to do but just think and be. To just exist. How simple a thought could be so hard. And yesterday I picked a rose and a bee by it stung me. Maybe he was telling me that I should preserve Mother Earth. When so much as a single rose can hold so much beauty, in the same way the whole world is beautiful and every single thing living beautiful in some  degree. If we can find that degree in the people around us we will finally have peace.

Being a cool parent

You children may not like you right now but they will thank you when they are older. In today's world it's ok to be a little strict. It can be the difference between a successful child or one that runs into problems. I think instead of trying to be a cool parent we should all just focus on being loving ones. 

And they saw in colors...

There once lived a whole world of people who pretended to be cyborgs. Busily hurrying, living in a dark grey world  except for the smart, more enlightened individuals who dared to see in colors and rid themselves of their cyber suits and knew who they were and why. And these people would become messiahs and save the world; whether speaking in paintings, or riddles, or polynomials.

Sometimes I forget

Sometimes I forget about it. About life. Ya know? It's so easy to. All around us so much is happening and it's stressful an eventually we give in until it over comes us. But we are better then that! Inside each of us is something special, something god given. A message. So therefore we are all messiahs. Every time you talk to someone or do something you are sending a message. What message are you sending? Is it one that you wouldn't be proud of? Is it not something you would want to be remembered for? We get so busy with people we barely know an miss what means the most to us. We stop caring, and laughing, and loving. Next time you meet someone. See in them what the person that truly loves them sees in them. Only then will you see someone at their very best. Everyone is good and we should not be prejudice. It's amazing how small annoyances can be avoided by choosing to the  love like god. Yea I just fit all religious. But really...Gods love is the bomb. Because he is our father and he loves us unconditionally. And so if one where to see another in love they would flourish. .....

Fighting back

People with stupid ideas are making all the rules. But no one ever cares to fight back. Well I'm deciding to fight back. I'm going to live how I want. I'm going to love who I want. I'm not going to care what people think. I'm going to live for my own happiness. AND I'm going to join you on this journey. 

Our perfect day

There's something to the moment when you first light your first cigarettes of the morning while drinking coffee watching the first rays of the day slowly caresses the top of my toes as I smile at you knowing you are forever mine.that would be my perfect day with you. That and we would be looking at an exquisite land of which we have never been and we are in love with it. Can you picture it? There would be a decent sized vineyard with a small garden tended to it your wife. We would make a good enough living to be happy and get by. I just I am building our perfect world. Their would be no pain or sorrow or bills to worry about. I just realized I am in France on a vacation with you and we are madly in love. In that alternate reality, we have just decided to buy a vineyard because that's what we have always wanted to do and we can do anything. To my community tv show lover. Care to roll the dice? ;)

Sometimes it is nice to sit and think

You know, sometimes it’s just nice being able to sit and think. It puts hair on your chest or so they might say. Because it makes you feel free and powerful and grand. I like my time to really reflect. My everyday is consumed by kids and school. My solace is my garden. I suspect, due to the poor state of my garden that it has a lot in common with me. That is where I find solace.